The devotional today had a verse that I know God wants me to remember, Mark 9:23, "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes. " I think that he said the first part for a reason, not if you will believe or if you do believe, but if you CAN. It reminds me of times when Tobi says, "Mama can I ...." and I say, "Tobi say, 'Mama, may I....", because when he says can, we know he has the ability, but the may part is if it's allowed. So I feel like He's telling' me that I do have the ability to believe, however difficult to tap into at times it may be. The other part of the devotion that stuck out at me was a little poem:
Faith looks across the storm-it doesn't doubt
Or stop to look at clouds and things without.
Faith does not question why when all His ways
Are hard to understand, but trusts and prays-Anon.
So today, as I prepare for whatever emotions and feelings come, please pray for my heart to feel full, thankful, full of life and assured that He will not take another child from us. Please continue to pray for health, safety and a long life for Luke. Pray that my womb will keep him in.
My dearest friends and family that were with us when we lost our precious Layah, and those dark days for me that followed, thank you for being there, and lifting us up in prayer-it's the only way we could have made it.