Monday, November 30, 2009

So late but such a THANKFUL heart


We've had some computer issues, plus I had foot surgery on the 19th. It was a bunionectomy, where they had to break part of my foot in order to straighten the bone next to my big toe. It's been pretty painful and I still have a pin in it. I'm getting the stitches out today, and the pin next week. Mom's been driving me everywhere, when I can get out, but until this weekend, I couldnt really be on it for long before it would begin to throb and sting. I've had a little stomach bug too, so I didnt go anywhere from Friday, (the day after Thanksgiving), until Sunday, when we finally were able to go back to church on a Sunday!

I heard the song "Healer" that I heard for the first time when we returned to church after Layah died. Even though I have this song on CD, I never listen too it because it causes me too much pain and emotion. When we sang it yesterday, I was flooded with all those feelings. I wept for Layah, and the longing to know her and feel her; I wept for Luke, and the fact we prayed for him and he's such a wonderful and healthy baby. We just could never have gotten a better baby. Luke doesnt cry. He just kinda "boxes" his hands around when he's hungry, and grunts to let us know he needs to be fed or picked up. He doesnt fuss with a dirty diaper, and doesnt require a lot of holding. He is a very content child. I can only pray this personality and tempermant will continue throughout his life.

Today's devotional had this verse: "John 14:1-6 Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."
Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?" Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
This was just a comforting reminder to me that Layah is waiting on us in the place we can be confident is being prepared for us! I know she was thankful for us having joy and happiness with Luke, this Thanksgiving Day. Yesterday, during praise and worship, as always I felt close to her, which is painful yet so filled with happiness. I felt as if she was thanking me for letting her go. I know in my heart that if she'd survived her extremely premature birth at 23.3 weeks, she'd have suffered a life of disabilities, possibly blindness, deafness, CP, mental retardation, chronic lung disease, etc. I could never have said I wanted her to go to our Heavenly Father, at the time we were fighting to save her, but I know now, it is what was best for all of us. As I've said before, I know she gave up her life for her brother, and we could never lover her more for it.

Here are some pictures of our growing boy. We took him on the 23rd for his 2 month check up, (OMG I can't believe he's already 2 months old!) and he weighed 12 lbs 12 oz, and is 23 inches long. Rachel, my friend wh lost her son Isaac and now has precious Annabella, said that she's gonna be 4 months old and she is 15 lbs, so Luke is gonna be a big boy!

Sunday, November 22, 2009

More pictures

11-20-09, He wont officially be 2 months until the 28th.

Is he not just the most beautiful boy you've ever seen? And he's the best baby God's every made

besides Tobi! He doesnt cry! He just grunts when he needs something!

Monday, November 16, 2009

update on Luke (11-16-09)

So over the past weekend, Luke has apparently hit a growth spurt. He's eating more than my body is making and we're having to supplement him with formula, which I'm not happy about, but it cannot be helped. He is getting so big! He still has really bad thrush in his mouth and I'm thinking that may be why he gets so frustrated nursing after awhile, because of him having to suck harder and that irritating his mouth. Dr Hodges' nurse told me to just stop his Nystatin and see if his immune system will fight it off and she'll check him when we go for his 2 month check up next Monday. He's eating between every 2-3 hours. He is already wearing a 3 month old size now. Being off with him is going too fast! Also, the more I look at him and think he looks like me, the more I think he's gonna have blue eyes. I so hoped for brown, but I guess I'll have to wait till our little girl comes one day for that!

Faithfully His,

Thursday, November 12, 2009

We prayed for you...

On Tuesday my dear friend Johanna text me that she was on her way to the doctor, to see if she was pregnant, as she had invitro done a couple of weeks before. She was not hopeful as she'd taken a test the day before and it was negative. I had a neurology apt at St. Vincent's and decided to drop off her gift at her husband's office, (he's a cardiologist at St. Vincent's). I had the book "Safe in the Arms of God" that I read after Layah died, as well as a prayer cross that was blue with tiny baby feet print in it's center, and a card. She text me later that she was not. My heart broke for her. I know she was devastated. I know she was angry, and frustrated and depressed and just very, very disappointed. I had no words that would less the pain that she was feeling. You don't wont to hear, "well maybe next month", or "well you can always adopt" or things that people say with good intentions but are inappropriate. I text her that I personally know His timing is perfect, although she didn't want to hear that either. After I got her bad news, I recalled a little onsie I'd seen at Christmas Village, and had decided I could make one for Luke. It was a simple onsie with feet on it, (his feet are so big, I ended up just putting one foot on it!), with the verse "I Samuel 1:27-28 27 I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. 28 So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." And he worshiped the LORD there." I had forgotten exactly which verse it was, so I ended up reading the whole chapter. It was very interesting. This woman, Hannah, was a wife and had no children. Her husband had another wife who had children, so she felt very inadequate compared to his other wife, however her husband, Elkanah, would give Hannah double her portion even though, "the Lord had closed her womb". The other wife was mean and rubbed the fact her womb was closed in her face. Then in verse 10 and 11 it says "In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. 11 And she made a vow, saying, "O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head." This spoke to me about Johanna. I text her to read it and later she too agreed that she felt that the Lord was speaking to her through it. Later on in the chapter it says, "Elkanah lay with Hannah his wife, and the LORD remembered her. 20 So in the course of time Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, "Because I asked the LORD for him." It stuck out at me the part about "so in the course of time" because Johanna has been so concerned about her "clock" ticking. I just know that she will be blessed with a child. I cant wait for God to show himself to her through this trying time. Later on in the chapter it said this, "So the woman stayed at home and nursed her son until she had weaned him.
24 After he was weaned, she took the boy with her, young as he was, along with a three-year-old bull,
an ephah
of flour and a skin of wine, and brought him to the house of the LORD at Shiloh. 25 When they had slaughtered the bull, they brought the boy to Eli, 26 and she said to him, "As surely as you live, my lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you praying to the LORD. 27 I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. 28 So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." And he worshiped the LORD there." Johanna said that she put that verse in her car. I felt the power of that verse for Luke too. We prayed for him and the Lord granted me what I asked of Him. Thank you Lord, beyond what my words can express, for your amazing love, grace, mercy, favor and blessing you've given me and my family. I pray you will help us raise Luke to serve and worship you all the days of his life.

Faithfully His,


Friday, November 6, 2009


Luke as our little "pea pod" 103109

Luke and Daddy 103109

Slideshow of Luke Jeremiah and a couple of my opinions

It's been awhile since I've posted an entry and I feel "behind". My sweet little "Peetie Pod" (that's what we call Luke since we called Tobi "Peetie Pie") has wanted to eat about every 2 hours, and nursing and pumping leaves little time to do much else except change diapers and catnap when Luke does. He went for his 4 week check up last Wednesday and he weighed 9 lbs 12 oz! That's more than 2lbs he's gained in a month! He is such an awesome baby. He just doesn't cry!

These photos, again, done my sweet friend Stephanie Fisher who recently had one of her newborn photographs used on Alabama Baby magazine...She's very talented. I will cherish this as long as I live.

Today I read a devotional that had this verse, "Exodus 13:14-16 (NIV)
"In days to come, when your son asks you, 'What does this mean?' say to him, 'With a mighty hand the LORD brought us out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. When Pharaoh stubbornly refused to let us go, the LORD killed every firstborn in Egypt, both man and animal. This is why I sacrifice to the LORD the first male offspring of every womb and redeem each of my firstborn sons.' And it will be like a sign on your hand and a symbol on your forehead that the LORD brought us out of Egypt with his mighty hand."

The devotional talked about sharing God's word, and all it's exciting and inspired stories, with our children. I am guilty of not doing this enough with Tobi. I want him to understand then truth in the stories and that they are not "make-believe" as he says about fantasy and fictional movies and books. At the same time it reminded me how much more I need to be familiar with God's word and how much more I need to read and meditate on it. God has a mighty plan for Tobi & Luke. And we have been given the responsibility (and gift) to prepare them.

I'm gonna get on my soap box in a moment. I also read the verse "Galatians 6:7-10 (NIV) Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers, " and thought it ironic, considering that yesterday, a crazy, Muslim US soldier who was a Psychiatrist and treated patients that suffered from PTSD, went into a processing center in TX and started shooting fellow soldiers and 1 civilian; 13 people died and 28 were injured. It was reported he said "Allahu Akbar" which in Arabic means " god (and I use the little g on purpose because this is not the same God that followers of Christ call God) is great" as he unloaded on these unarmed soldiers who were part of a graduation ceremony. He was scheduled to be deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan and had hired an attorney to fight his deployment, probably because he didn't want to fight against his Muslim comrades. (The last time I checked, no one is forced into the military, but when you enlist, you enlist with the understanding that you may have to be deployed to war). He allegedly had been "harassed" about being Muslim. They have found a blog he may be connected to where he compared a soldier falling on a grenade to save the lives of others with that of a suicide bomber for "Allah"...CRAZY! There were all kinds of warning signs that have been discovered but since our society has become so PC and we cant "profile" these people and we have to be "tolerant", the red flags were never pursued. Now 13 people are dead and many, many lives are changed forever. I'm so sick of people making excuse for crazy nuts like this. Anyway, back to me tying this to the verse, "...God will not be mocked.." I thought that was interesting. Claiming to kill others in the name of god, would be exactly that. "A man reaps what he sows...." This went right along with the day as well. The man was shot by a civilian police officer and although it was originally reported he was dead, it was later corrected that he was not. He was on a ventilator. I hope he doesn't die. He would consider it "honorable", a martyr for his jihad war on us infidels. I hope he survives and then the military has a military tribunal. I think they should do the firing squad with him,but let all the first 43 shots be in non-life threatening places....then just leave him there. This man had no regard for these people's lives or their families. He was a radical nut. That may be harsh, but this is not the first time this type of violence has occurred. from someone in the name of Islam Whatever his earthly punishment, he will ultimately have to pay the price for this and I'm positive there wont be 72 virgins waiting on him on the other side.

Faithfully His,