Monday, November 30, 2009

So late but such a THANKFUL heart


We've had some computer issues, plus I had foot surgery on the 19th. It was a bunionectomy, where they had to break part of my foot in order to straighten the bone next to my big toe. It's been pretty painful and I still have a pin in it. I'm getting the stitches out today, and the pin next week. Mom's been driving me everywhere, when I can get out, but until this weekend, I couldnt really be on it for long before it would begin to throb and sting. I've had a little stomach bug too, so I didnt go anywhere from Friday, (the day after Thanksgiving), until Sunday, when we finally were able to go back to church on a Sunday!

I heard the song "Healer" that I heard for the first time when we returned to church after Layah died. Even though I have this song on CD, I never listen too it because it causes me too much pain and emotion. When we sang it yesterday, I was flooded with all those feelings. I wept for Layah, and the longing to know her and feel her; I wept for Luke, and the fact we prayed for him and he's such a wonderful and healthy baby. We just could never have gotten a better baby. Luke doesnt cry. He just kinda "boxes" his hands around when he's hungry, and grunts to let us know he needs to be fed or picked up. He doesnt fuss with a dirty diaper, and doesnt require a lot of holding. He is a very content child. I can only pray this personality and tempermant will continue throughout his life.

Today's devotional had this verse: "John 14:1-6 Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."
Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?" Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
This was just a comforting reminder to me that Layah is waiting on us in the place we can be confident is being prepared for us! I know she was thankful for us having joy and happiness with Luke, this Thanksgiving Day. Yesterday, during praise and worship, as always I felt close to her, which is painful yet so filled with happiness. I felt as if she was thanking me for letting her go. I know in my heart that if she'd survived her extremely premature birth at 23.3 weeks, she'd have suffered a life of disabilities, possibly blindness, deafness, CP, mental retardation, chronic lung disease, etc. I could never have said I wanted her to go to our Heavenly Father, at the time we were fighting to save her, but I know now, it is what was best for all of us. As I've said before, I know she gave up her life for her brother, and we could never lover her more for it.

Here are some pictures of our growing boy. We took him on the 23rd for his 2 month check up, (OMG I can't believe he's already 2 months old!) and he weighed 12 lbs 12 oz, and is 23 inches long. Rachel, my friend wh lost her son Isaac and now has precious Annabella, said that she's gonna be 4 months old and she is 15 lbs, so Luke is gonna be a big boy!

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