Monday, January 2, 2012

New Year, New Life

I would have gotten to this sooner had I not felt so terrible lately. Between the nausea without vomiting, the extreme fatigue, and the severe & frequent migraines, I've just been trying to tend to myself and taking care of the boys, with Matt's help of course. Yesterday, I was able to get the Christmas tree down and the furniture rearranged again. Then Luke and I took a nap. For supper, our family went to Mizu's Japanese Steakhouse- our favorite place for special occasions. Tobi tends to freak out whenever they do anything with fire, and I've threatened him that he wont come back with us if he continues to bolt when they do it because he just about crashed into an employee with a cart trying to get away from the fire, yet Luke was mesmerized. So, of course we had food left over for today, yet it wasn't gonna happen that I'd get to eat it.
I woke up with a headache, that continued to worsen throughout the day, making me pretty much incapacitated. I tried taking the Prodrin, taking a nap, drinking caffeine, and finally after taking the last Prodrin I could take in a 24 hour period, at 5:30 it let up, Praise God! I was getting a bit nervous if it had not let up when it did.

Matt went to work out, and he called me while he was gone to tell me that he'd found out through his friend, Matt Payne's ex wife, Tanja, that Matt's death was a tragic result of an apparent overdose. We don't know anymore details than that, but I know Matt was disappointed as he was so hoping that Matt had changed. Based on his obituary, I told him there is still hope he did. It really sounded like many were changed by him, and possibly by his testimony. Although addiction is a disease and can be cured, some lose their battle to addiction just as other lose their battle with cancer. I truly feel that maybe his heart was right, and the Lord just knew it was best to take him now, rather than to let him get any worse, or to cause anyone else to go down the path that Matt began so many years ago. We just have to pray that the Lord can and will still use Matt's life to help others avoid that deadly route. We know that no matter what, the Lord is just, fair and the definition of love. Matt had a bit of a difficult time with the news because this was the closest person to him to have died at such a young age, of course besides Layah. I pray that it will just be a reminder to him of the enemy's goal, is to steal kill and destroy each of our future and that we have to stay equipped for battle against him, especially now for our children's future in today's world.

I go back to the OB on the 5th. I've got several things I wanna ask him about, like is he doing the same type of cerclage, the Mcdonald? If I had to go to the maternity triage for a bad migraine, where would we go and what might the treatment be? The cerclage is scheduled for the 10th, but I think I'm gonna change it to the 13th, that way I can have the weekend off, and just be off Monday, so I'm not having to take off more than one day. I'll need to see what the schedule looks like that morning cause I cant afford to not be first case, considering the way the last cerclage went-me getting a migraine, then because of fluids, needing to go to the bathroom after surgery, but due to the spinal block, my legs were numb, but the weight of my full bladder was quite painful. Hopefully, that will not happen this time.

Faithfully His,


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