Monday, August 31, 2009

Devotional and 34.4 week update

I love the book of Psalm. It's songs of praise and love, and songs of desperation and honest feelings towards God. Psalm just shows that at the same time we are in a terrible storm in life, we also can sing His praises, and at the next minute, be expressing anger or fear or worry to our heavenly father. I see a perfectly open relationship, communicating in every aspect of our lives. I read today, Psalm 8: "...From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise..." I immediately thought of my precious daughter in heaven singing to and with the Lord. I visualize her sitting on His lap and them singing a tune only the two of them would know. Then the Psalm goes on to say, "...when I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You made him rule over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet..." That reminded me how much more precious we are to him than the creatures of this world, the planets, and amazing sites we see in nature, like volcanoes, the tide of the sea, a penguin dad keep his baby warm on his feet, and on and on. He makes no mistakes in creation. All that he created, yet we are who and what He loves most. We have His heart, after all, His heart was breaking, as His precious, only son, was crucified, because of His love for us, and the chance he hoped to have a relationship with each one of us! Wow, that's amazing; He wants and is able to have a personal relationship with each of us!

I've been very emotional lately, just being excited that Luke is soon to come and I cant wait to meet him, and missing my sweet baby girl. As I laid in bed last night and he wiggle around in my tummy, (running out of room in there), I just thought "how can a mom feel all this life in there and not believe in the Creator". This is truly amazing. (side note: Luke has the hiccups every day, and I was concerned, so I asked the nurse and was assured it was fine. Many babies have them a lot, some none at all. They think it's their central nervous system and their diaphram practicing the movement of breathing in and out).There is a living human in there alive and growing, being nourished by me, depending on me. It reminds me that we are too be dependent 100% on our heavenly Father, and many times that is easier said that done. The pastor yesterday said that we are suppose to make our lives into alignment with God's assignment. I pray that I am doing just that so that God's perfect will for me and my family's future will be fulfilled. He has a plan, we know this. But many times, He cant get us to that outcome because our lives are not aligned with Him. We need to all check ourselves from time to time to make sure our lives are in alignment with His word.

Now for the update, when I went to the OB last Thursday, Joey said that the plan is to take the stitch out, hopefully in the office, on the 8th, which is Tobi's birthday!!! If it cannot be seen or felt, they will have to remove it in the OR, so please pray this will be easy as a "snip snip" and that's all. After that, it will be up to Luke and my body. I am praying that he will stay in there at least 2 more weeks after the cerclage comes out, but I know the Lord is in control of that. We will be ready, with bags packed, for when the time comes. This has really been a very different time for us, as "preparing" for our children's arrival has never been the case. Matt says I've been a bit of a crazy woman, and I tend to agree a bit. We got everything done in the room that was a must...well Matt put the furniture together and painted, and I did everything else. I even have Luke's letters for his name painted and ribbons attached, I just have to hang them. We got the dresser, bed, and storage unit in place. I've washed, and washed, and washed. I got the pack n play out and stocked with necessities for the living room. I've got the bassinet together and stocked, ready in our room. We still have to get the car seat bases installed, but we will do that very shortly. I told Matt if we'd had to plan our wedding, (we planned and married within a week!) I'd have been crazy! I've gained about 30 pounds and am just now getting a bit uncomfortable at night but nothing that keeps me awake. I'm anxious to know how much Luke weighs, but we're probably gonna have to wait and find that out once he comes. I cant believe it's almost time for him to be here. It's been a long journey and a short one at the same time. Every time he moves in me, I am thankful of His faithfulness.

"Lord, thank you for being the author of life. Thank you for being in control of my life and the struggles I face. Thank you for forgiving me when I fail you and showing your mercy and grace. Thank you for your favor and blessing us immensely. Thank you for your ultimate sacrifice and expression of love through your only Son. I know you understand my pain and my longing for my children. I know you understand my grief and this journey I've walked and will continue to walk until I meet you and Layah face to face. I thank you for the hope and peace that is only found in you. Please continue to hold your hand of protection on Luke, strengthening him, and preparing him for a healthy life here on earth; preparing him to be a vessel for you. Help me be the mother you would want me to be to raise him to be a God-fearing man, " in favor with God and favor with man, "as your son was. In Jesus name, Amen.

Faithfully His,


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