Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I was so tired from such a busy Easter weekend, I decided to try and get to post a blog once I had some energy. Sunday was very special. We celebrated "Coming Home" at Church of the Highlands. Pastor Chris, as he does many times, gave a new prospective on the way God views believers and unbelievers. He doesn't see them as "in the club" and those that are not. He views them all as His children, some that are lost. To be lost, you had to have had it in your possession at one time or another, so the Lord sees the unbelievers as children that He desperately wants to return home. He described a situation, Matt and I could relate to, where he thought one of his 5 children was lost. When Matt and I took Tobi trick-or-treating in 2005, Tobi was dressed as Darth Vader, a very cute one, but a very black-dressed one. At the home in Hoover where we attended a Halloween party, Tobi went missing and Matt and I panicked when he was not in the house. As dark as it was outside, and as dark as his costume was, finding him was like trying to find something at night when the power goes off. We were terrified. We heard his little voice yelling, up the street, and another parent could tell we were looking for him and were scared and pointed to us where he was. We we figured out he had walked off with some of the kids in the neighborhood, that came to the house we were at to get their candy, we were so relieved. We were so glad to see him. No, we didn't punish him because we were just SO relieved he was safe and back with us. We did scold him for walking off from the house and where mommy and daddy were, but the anger was not there because of the relief in having him back with us, our family together. That's how God must feel. Once His lost child returns home, rather than be greeted with guilt and punishment, when we cry out to Him and repent, He casts our sins "as far as the east is to the west". I like what pastor Chris also said about becoming a new creation in Christ. You have to come home to be changed and made new, not change to come home. That's so true. As I said in my last Sunday entry, once you cry out to Him, He does the rest. You're not perfect, but you strive to please Him and make Him proud, and just you just live to show Him you're love and devotion.
So that was church. Then we drove out to Elmwood Cemetery to spend a few minutes remembering Layah. It was very difficult for me. I just wept thinking how much I miss her. At times I do get "beat up" feeling I failed her. I caused her death because I caused her to come so early. She was perfect. My body has been the problem. If I'd only researched the problem when it first starting becoming symptomatic. I know that's Satan, but it's hard to fight at times. I just had to say, "Thank you God for the resurrection of your Son, and the resurrection of Layah with you". So, after driving there, going to eat with Mom, Granny, and Derok's (my brother) family and egg hunting, I was pooped and took a catnap at Nana and Papa's, (Matt's mom and dad).
Today I had a follow up with Dr. Ramsey. The baby's heart beat was 140, which was excellent. With no problems, PRAISE GOD, I will go back in 2 weeks. He said that since I'm small, we should be able to find out the sex, 2 weeks from that appointment, May 12th, the Tuesday after Mother's Day!! I am very excited about that. We know God has Arwyn awaiting to come to us for a lifetime. :)