Love Him with Your WHOLE heart

So as usual, God really speaks to me a lot through music, praise and worship. I've gotten to really feel His presence-even in the bathroom as I brush my teeth- when a particular song comes on. It's based off of the verse Luke 10:27 He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" It is by Forever Jones, and is called "He Wants it All" Here are the lyrics:

There's a voice that cries out in the silence,

searching for heart that will love him,

longing for child that will give him their all,

give it all, he wants it all

There's a God that walks over the earth,

he searching for heart that is desperate,

longing for child that will give him their all,

give it all, he wants it all and he says,

love me, love me with your whole heart

he wants it all today

serve me, serve me with you life now

he wants it all today

bow down, let go of your idols

he wants it all today (x4)

There's a God that walks over the earth,

he searching for heart that is desperate,

longing for child that will give him their all,

give it all, he wants it all and he says,

love me, love me with your whole heart

he wants it all today

serve me, serve me with you life now

he wants it all today

bow down, let go of your idols

he wants it all today (x4)

Oh oh oh, all of you,

more of you wants it all today (whole thing x3)
he wants it all today,

he wants is all today so give it all

There's a voice that cries out in the silence,

searching for heart that will love him,

longing for child that will give him their all, give it all, he wants it all

Besides it being a great melodic song, the words are just so powerful to me. The part about Him searching....He looks for us, even when many are not looking for Him. John 12:32 " But when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all men to myself." and 2 Peter 3:9 " The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." These verses just stand out to me. I have many close family and friends that I pray and pray for and salvation seems as tho it will never come to past, but reading this verse, I know that His "slowness" is not my "slowness". He is on His own time, not mine. I know and trust that He will ultimately have their hearts.

Back to the song, He wants it all, wow. When you think about that, you have to remember that doesn't just apply to "stuff". That also applies to our children, our health, our time, our dreams, our desires, everything. Many times with our actions, and not necessarily our words, we say "I'll give Him this area of my life, but not this". But until you give Him your ALL, you're not really gonna know Him, in the deepest and most intimate way.

Lately I've had some "spells", and I'm not sure where it's coming from, but last Thursday morning, I was getting on the freeway, and all of a sudden, I felt as if I was about to black out. I began to get tunnel vision, very flushed, and thought to myself, "I've got to pull over. I cant pass out driving with Luke with me". I cranked on the AC full blast, and the feeling seemed to pass. My vision was still a bit blurry, but I didn't feel like I was going to black out. I got Luke to BH and sat in the floor with him for a few minutes before going to work. As I got up slowly, I felt as though I was going to pass out. I know that happens sometimes, but this just felt different. I thought maybe I was having a hypoglycemic moment, so I ate some nuts that I had in the van. I got to work and got some breakfast, but still didn't feel right. My heart was racing, feeling like it was gonna beat out of my chest. I felt cold, nauseated, and just really dizzy and it was difficult to concentrate. I kept taking slow deep breaths, but I couldn't seemed to slow my heart rate down. I was shaky and just felt like I was having a heart attack! I went down to the nurses and they took my BP and heart rate. It was a little elevated, but probably cause I was freakin' out. My mom came and we went to UAB's ER-BIG mistake. The only reason I even went there was because if this that was going on was related to my CPT2, I needed to be where my neurologist could see me in the hospital. In triage, the took an EKG and sent me out to the waiting room. My brother came by since he was doing "a case" at UAB and said that they weren't that busy back in the ER. (He's a harvester with the AOC harvesting bone and tissue donors). I had some arm pain and weakness on my left side that was worrisome to me, and every time I'd stand up to go to the bathroom, I felt as if I was going to pass out. We were in the ER for 7 hours and there was no change in my status to be seen since the previous 4 hours. I was so upset, beginning to get a migraine since I'd not eaten anything but half a bag of chips since breakfast, and just tired. I told mom that we'd try St. Vincent's, but when I called, I was told that they couldn't give me any idea of the wait, and it could be six hours there as well. I told mom I wanted to go home. I just needed to get home. So, we got something to eat, and headed home. I took some midrin and 4 ibuprofen and that helped stopped the migraine from progressing. I was so glad to see my precious baby and funny guy.

After talking to Johanna by text about it, I realized, duh, her husband is a cardiologist. So, she told him about everything and he said he'd get me set up with one of his partners. The next day, I felt like I had had an extremely long, and really bad panic attack, having had one when I was 23 weeks pregnant with Luke, and then 2 days after he was born. But both of those only lasted about 10 minutes and then I was fine and I felt no arm pain, nor like I was about to pass out. This just seemed a bit different having lasted all day.

So, today I went for my cardiology apt with Dr. Juan Bernal. He was very nice, young and from Columbia. They did a pretty thorough history, and apparently he'd heard about CPT2 in his fellowship. They did an EKG and he listenned to everything. I told him that it may be panic attacks, but since they lasted so long it scared me. He said he wanted to do some investigating, and that as far as it being related to the CPT2, all he was aware of was pediatric patients diagnosed with CPT2 having cardiac problems contributed to it. He'd not read anything of the adult form having cardiac problems, afterall, it's a neuromuscular problem, not vascular. So, he sent me home with a 72 hour monitor, and said that I'll probably have an ultrasound. I'm gonna feel terrible if all this testing is done and it's just panic attacks, BUT at least I'll know everything is fine, which is what we want anyway. So, although it was a busy day at the doctor, I enjoyed every minute that I was able to spend it with Luke.

Here are some pictures from today before we left.

Faithfully His,

Mika

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