Thursday, I had to leave work a bit early to finally go to the doctor myself since I'd been sick for about a week. I had sinusitis bronchitis and on the way to walking pneumonia. I got 2 shots and that made me feel better right away. I had to since Renee and I were going to make our annual trip to Cottontail, at the BJCC. We had a great time on Friday, and that seemed to be the ideal day to go since there wasn't the same Saturday crowd and many moms left to go pick their kids up from school. We had Luke with us so we got his picture made with the Easter bunny. I will try and post that out here soon. The guy that took his picture commented on the fact that he didn't have to work at all to get Luke to smile. Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you for such a happy baby. He's got the static look that Tobi, (and apparently me too) had, where his hair sticks straight up all over. It's too cute. He's wearing between a 9-12 month. He's just such a big boy! I was hoping to get to use a lot of Tobi's clothes, but it doesn't look as though that's gonna be the case.
Now, a couple of things. My dear friend Johanna had some great news, left tube is completely open and her uterus looks good so she was cleared to try and get pregnant with her next cycle. There had also been some medical insurance problems where her husband's practice had gone with Viva and they had no fertility benefits with that carrier, but fortunately, they were able to switch over to MASA with BCBS so they have a much better plan now, with fertility benefits. She and Scott are gone to Vail, CO right now for a conference of his. I am praying she'll be refreshed, renewed, revived, and well rested and come back with just a clear head and ready to see what the Lord has planned for her and Scott's future. Last week, Dana had posted a prayer request on her FB page about a girl named Kim Kelly who she met through a mom of multiples group. Kim was 23 weeks pregnant with quads. She was on bed rest at the hospital and ended up having one of the babies, a little girl, they named Hope (which I thought was ironic since we had Layah Faith and plan to use Hope as a middle name someday). She passed away. Then, that night I watched a TV program that showed a baby that appeared to be a 24 weeker. Although I know the baby wasn't real, it just appeared so real that it flooded my heart with many emotions from our time with Layah and I just became overwhelmed with a deep longing for her. As I prayed for Kim, and my other dear friends who are so desperate to be a mom, I just remembered the message that pastor Chris gave us last Sunday about being content as a believer that there will times that we have to accept the fact that we will times when we don't understand, and even if He could tell us, our brains couldn't fathom His ways. After all, He tells us in Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. 9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Then the next day, I saw where Dana had let everyone know that the rest of the quads had been born and passed. My heart just sunk. I felt sick. I know how horrible that time was, but I cannot imagine the magnitude of the pain of the loss times 4. Today they were having the funeral. How do you bury 4 babies, and at one time. As I look back at the notes from last weeks message, I read the verses that were part of the conversation between Job and God. Job well represents all of us who have experienced tragedy. He said, "What's the point of life when it doesn't make sense, when God blocks all the roads to meaning?" Job 3:23 That's what we say too. We ask that question of why do bad things happen to good people and why would God allow this or what about all those women who abort, abuse, and neglect sweet babies...it doesn't make sense. But Job realized that he was a mere mortal. He was just a man. He said to God, "You asked, 'Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?' Surely I spoke of things I do not understand, things too wonderful for me to know." Job 42:3. He had experienced the ultimate loss-everything, yet he realized that the God of the universe was trustworthy and His timing is always perfect. He will right the world in the end. Another verse on this message was James 5:11 "You've heard of course, of Job's staying power and you know how God brought it all together for him at the end. That's because God cares , cares right down to the last detail". He is there. He is here. He never leaves us. Even during those dark times when we feel He has abandoned us, He is there as He promised. If Jesus can cry out to His Father, feeling abandoned and left alone, He can relate to us when we do the same. Pastor Chris gave a personal story I can relate to of his child needing a medical procedure that would involve some pain yet it was best for his child in the end. During the medical staff's preparation, his little toddler looked over at his dad, anticipating his daddy coming to the rescue to save him from this frightful and painful situation. Yet he did not. He could not. Through the cries of his son saying, "Daddy?! Daddy?! Daddy?!" Pastor Chris said he wept and wept. He compared this event somewhat like what it must have been like for our Heavenly Father. To hear his perfect son's cries, yet not reach down and take that pain away. I'm sure that He feels the same when we cry out, and say, "Abba, Abba, Abba".