Recovering, round 2.....

Well, this week started out very bad. I had a headache on Saturday, which my mom had one too last week, which we contributed to the weather. Anytime the barometric pressure changes, I have a high chance of getting a migraine. Since I'm limited on what I can take nursing, plus what actually works for me, I didn't expect the migraine that came about Sunday. I ended up having to get my mom to take me to the ER-in between tears - late Sunday night. Many times with these, I just really want to die, not permanently but temporarily for the pain and agony to go away; they're that bad. So they drugged me up at St. Vincent's, and I was very comfortable. Well, I could tell before we left, as they were rushing us to sign the discharge papers and ignoring what I said as far as my pain scale number, that it was coming back behind my right eye. I got home after the 3 hour ordeal and Luke was not resting well, and although I was only at the ER for 3 hours, getting home at around 2am, Luke wanted to stay up until 5am, which with my CPT2, it's no good for me not to sleep. One thing that has really upset me, although I know it's temporary, is that I cant nurse or give Luke breast milk for 3 days because of Phenergan-not the narcotics, but the nausea medicine! They don't want the residual to make the baby sleepy because of the risk of SIDS at his age, if given it. Of course I want him to be safe, but it's really made me feel like a bit of a failure, even though it's just for 3 days. I never wanted him to have any formula. I know. I sound somewhat ridiculous, but it's how I feel. (Plus he has thrown up 100% more with the formula than he ever did with his mommy's milk.) Then Monday morning, I could tell it was back, just as bad. Matt called into work to go in late, to see if I could sleep it off. I got up and in the shower and prayed and prayed it would be gone. It was for about 10 minutes, and then was back in full effect. Matt had to go to work, so I was left, in misery, with my precious baby Luke, that I felt incapacitated to care for. My mom was at the hospital with my grandmother, and Matt's mom was at work at St. Vincent's. She was able to get off work early and come take me to the ER here in Alabaster, which is normally against my better judgement. We got there about noon and went right back, thank God. The ER doctor at Shelby questioned why they gave me narcotics to treat a migraine...( I almost said, look doc, I'm not an ER doctor and don't work for St. Vincent's. I've been going there for 10 years and that's how they treat them. Why don't you call the attending there to find out!!) I didn't, and he was young, so maybe he just didn't know what other hospitals do. So anyway, they acted like it was a big deal when we told them that I would require IV fluid because I'd been throwing up a bit and had not been able to eat anything, particularly because of my CPT2, which of course, they had NO idea about. We were there longer than at St. Vincent's, and got home about 5:30 or 6pm. They gave me a completely different "cocktail" than what I'm used to, but I was willing to do ANYTHING to get relief and keep it from coming back. They gave me Reglan, which I thought was for reflux, nausea, and indigestion, and Toprol, which is apparently equivalent to 800 mg of Ibuprofen, and Compazine which is for nausea. I was so extremely sleepy until this morning about 10am. I'm just glad that that's all over. I hate not being able to take care of myself, much less my family. It's a very helpless feeling.

Now, Luke is doing great, besides having to get the formula instead of my milk. He seems to be recovering from a case of the thrush, basically a yeast infection in his mouth that can become very painful for babies and even adults. We call him our little "ton-ton" which is the furry white creature in the movie Star Wars Empire Strikes Back (of course) that makes this grunting sound....check it out on this Youtube video, it starts in at 1:04 :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52U2WJyjBl0 I am still so in awe of how awesome a baby he is. God just truely has blessed us beyond what we could ever earn or deserve!

Now finally for a devotional! I read today Deuteronomy 11:13-21 (New International Version) "So if you faithfully obey the commands I am giving you today—to love the LORD your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul- then I will send rain on your land in its season, both autumn and spring rains, so that you may gather in your grain, new wine and oil. I will provide grass in the fields for your cattle, and you will eat and be satisfied. Be careful, or you will be enticed to turn away and worship other gods and bow down to them. Then the LORD's anger will burn against you, and he will shut the heavens so that it will not rain and the ground will yield no produce, and you will soon perish from the good land the LORD is giving you. Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, 21 so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land that the LORD swore to give your forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth." Following up from the service that was given at COH (church of the highlands) on Sunday, I am extremely aware of what lies ahead for Matt and I in raising Tobi, Luke, and any other children we may have. With the world around us continueing to spew temptation, lies, and false hope and happieness, we have to not only pray over our children but also to pray with our children. Now days, it is more important than every for our children to know where true happiness and fulfillment comes from, and what roads lead to distruction. If we dont discuss how important faith and a personal relationship with Christ is, our children will be extremely vunerable to the lies of this world. Matt and I both did a good bit of regretable activities as young adults, but given that the Lord has forgiven us and wiped it clean with the blood of Jesus, we now have a more sensitive eye to the things that can be thrown at our children. We know what lured us into such activities and how to keep our children from following that path. Many parents think that if they were honest with their children about what activities they were involved in growing up, they will look like hypocrits when "preaching" against it to their children, but I believe that this is quite the opposite. Just because man doesnt always follow God's word, it's still the standard. Just because the parents may have messed up doesnt mean that the standard is any different. We have to make sure that they understand that. We are not the standard, but God's word is, and that is who we must direct our children to follow. Now, yes we do have to be an example, but when it's concerning our past, that's how we have to address that issue. This is what the devotional I read today said, "Telling children the stories in God’s Word is especially crucial because the Bible’s enduring truth can shape character and show consequences of actions (1 Cor. 10:11). Tiny seeds of faith can be cultivated in fertile soil and help children to see how God has worked in the lives of His followers throughout history. Bible stories also show how God is intimately involved in our lives." I cant agree more.

Faithfully His,

Mika