36.4 & counting and the question "Is this your first?"

First, I will update you on how the cerclage removal procedure went, if you didn't already know. I am now 36.4 weeks today. I am so glad my husband was there to hold my hand. I have had a lot of physical pain in my life, having this muscle myopathy, CPT2 that can result in extreme muscle pain due to damage caused by the body breaking down muscle tissue rather than stored fat for energy, having had debilitating migraines for 11 years, having had an emergency c-section with Tobi, and then an abscess in my uterus 2 weeks later, then the cerclage being put in....all of this very painful, but I have been able to get pain medication to get some relief. Well, Tuesday, I did not expect it to be anymore painful than a normal pelvic exam-boy was I wrong. The first stitch was painful, but I gritted my teeth, squeezed Matt's hands, and tried to breath through it, then it was out, however, the top one, which was the one that Dr. Ramsey wanted to get in as high, and tight as he could, just about sent me over the edge. Joey stopped and one point to get me to use the bathroom to empty my bladder, and at that point, he should have said, "lets just do this in triage so you wont be in so much pain, but he did not. So, I was in tears and climbing the wall, as he moved my cervix all around trying to get to that top stitch. My husband said it hurt him just standing there with me, knowing how badly I was in pain. He finally got it out, and then I had to just lay there for a bit, to recover. Joey said I would have some spotting and contractions, but not to be alarmed. I will NEVER have that done in the office again. I did not have any spotting, but I did have some contractions. I've continued to have them, very mild and very sporadic.

So, after the procedure, I knew, as bad as I felt, I still needed to take the van to be checked and get the tires rotated, as our AC went out in it on Labor Day. I was not feeling well, so after being there an hour, and the van not even been taken back yet, I called and my mother in law came and got me and took me to her house to rest. They live less than a mile from the Firestone. They wanted to charge us $1700 to replace our A\C compressor, and that wasn't gonna happen. Thankfully, the guy in Tuscaloosa we bought both cars from, (Troy's Honda if you ever need a great deal on a car, and reasonably priced repairs) said since it was only 4 years old, and we got it from him, he'd do it for $550, so Matt took it down there early Saturday morning and it was fixed! I did not want to bring Luke home in a hot van.

So Tobi had his celebration for his birthday at school that Tuesday, and Matt took him to Taekwondo that night. It's hard to believe it's been 7 years. wow! I did not want Luke coming on Tobi's birthday, and that was honored. Then on Friday, September 11th, as I listened to the tributes to the victims, heroes, and their families from the terrorist attacks in 2001, I just cried and cried. Then I prayed, "Lord, please don't let Luke come today. I don't want his birthday to be a day of tragedy that is so sad". I know that many already had that day as a birthday, but I just didn't want it for Luke. My dear Dr. Ramsey, who moved to San Antonio, TX sent me a facebook friend request, and I was tickled. I noticed his birthday is September 30th, and I thought, wouldn't that be awesome, if Luke could come that day? Joey said he'd take Luke on the 1st if he'd not come on his own by then, so I think I'll tell him tomorrow, to take him on the 30th if he doesn't come by then. So, that's the update as far as my status. Luke's still "baking in the oven" and I'm as big as a house and loving every minute of it. One of my best friends told me when she was asked by a mutual friend of ours how I was, "she looks like she swallowed one of those exercise balls"! I just laughed. That was funny but true. We are ready for him when he comes. The only thing left, which is not a MUST is to get the ceiling fans installed in his and Tobi's room, which is suppose to be done on Tuesday of this week.

Now for my devotional. We didn't get a chance to go to church yesterday since I woke up with a headache, and I will watch it sometime today. I read a devotional this morning, and here was the verse,

Romans 5 1-5
"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

The writer of the devotional lost his daughter at 17 in a car accident. He knows the pain of losing a child, a loved one. He talked about the verse that mentions "...but we rejoice in our sufferings..." which is a very helpless feeling, however, because of the peace with God through Jesus, we are not hopeless, but yet are equipped with this perseverance and character and love to share with others. It's been a bit difficult with strangers asking, "when are you due? is this your first?" or the one that really gets me when I say no that it's not my first is, "how many do you have?" I will never deny Layah, so I say, "this is number 3". Most of the time it ends there, but here lately people have said, are they boys or girls? Of course I say, "we have one boy and one girl" and that's it, but just being constantly reminded that Layah is not with us, is painful, but I know that this will continue to refine and shape the daughter in Christ I am to be to glorify my King. Satan constantly tries to remind me that they found out what was wrong, too late for Layah, but I have to speak back, that this is all for His glory. Her life was complete and her purpose has been and is continuing to be fulfilled. I ask that you would continue to pray for my dear friends, Johanna, Amber, and Allison. Amber is having surgery today on her cyst "Clyde" she's named. I pray that this procedure will be used to enhance her fertility and allow her to get pregnant very easily, and that she will have a full-term, healthy pregnancy that she so deserves. I ask that you would continue to pray for peace and healing for Allison, as she continues to walk the roughest part of grief for her son who was passed away in her womb at 38 weeks. She's been battling the lies of the enemy and really struggling. I pray you would stand in agreement with me that she will be overwhelmed with the Holy Spirit's peace and comfort and the enemy will turn away from the attack on her, knowing she is protected by the precious blood of Jesus. Johanna and I ha vent talked much lately, but I know she is still hurting and mourning her precious twin boys she lost at 18 weeks back in March. I know these women are dreading the upcoming holidays and all the celebration they entail, so please keep them in your prayers as they struggle to look forward in each of their lives and not behind them.

Faithfully His,

Mika