I thought the title fitting since that's kinda what happened to my heart the Friday afternoon I started on this blog entry. My dear friend, Amber, who has walked the path of a grieving mother twice before me, now grieves a third time, her precious baby girl, Shiloh Hope, who came at 22 weeks, on the 2nd-she same numeric day of our precious Layah. We all were so sure this baby was going to make it. This pregnancy would be full term, after all, she wasn't even supposed to have been able to get pregnant again. That was a miracle in and of itself. My heart, happy, excited, energized about my date with my "wolf", was darkened by this news that I received through her friend Alison, on facebook. I was in shock. I was angry, devastated, and it wasn't even my child, but why? God, why? How could you not intervene? How could you not keep that baby safely in her protective womb at least for 4-6 more weeks? This fallen world, Earth, is so full of unfairities. The scale of good things for good people and bad things for bad people is so mixed up. My heart continues to ache for her, just trying to fathom the emptiness her arms feel, having this 3rd baby taken from her, along with all her hopes, dreams, and plans for her. I just don't understand.
Then, Saturday, I found out that the associate director at Bright Horizon, Kembra Gordon, drowned at Orange Beach on Friday the 2nd, trying to save a friend's 2 year old. Tradgedy. It's something you can never prepare for, never anticipate how you're going to respond or react to it. All of the teachers' faces at BH were blank, not sure what to say, or if they should even say anything, afraid they might start crying in front of the children. It was obvious how much Kembra meant to all of them. Even Luke's precious teacher, Mrs. Durlyn, who is a sweet, Christian, kindred spirit, had a very unfamiliar look about her. I've never seen her without a smile, always singing and talking to our babies, yet she was quiet. Kembra leaves behind 3 daugthers, the youngest about to be a senior at Spain Park. I heard that Kembra had planned to move to the beach after her youngest graduated. Plans made, that she would have no incling would be so far removed from her future. There's another song that I heard (I hate to say I haven't been listening to much music lately since I've been listening to the books of Twilight, no on Breaking Dawn), but it's called "No Matter What", by Kerri Roberts and it cut so close to home as I heard the words: