PURPOSE

I started reading Purpose Driven Life again, as I have lots of time to read while I am pumping. As I began to read, a few things stuck out to me. Let me share them. It says, "You didn't create yourself, so there is no way you can tell yourself what you were created for...You exist only because God wills that you exist. You were made by God and for God....It is only in God that we discover our origin, our identity, our meaning, our purpose, our significance, and our destiny." I thought that was powerful, as so many people-even Christians- walk through life, "going through the motions" not fulfilling their purpose God has created them for. It also said, "..being successful and fulfilling your life's purpose are NOT AT ALL the same issue!" I truly believe this. As I read about Rick Warren's views on the Bible's 3 metaphors of life, Life is a test, Life is a trust, and Life is a temporary assignment, several points stuck out to me. He said that character is both developed and revealed by tests, and all of life is a test. We are always being tested, from how we respond to people, problems, success, conflict, illness, disappointment, etc...to even the simple actions of opening a door for someone. Rick said that we will be tested by major changes, delayed promises, impossible problems, unanswered prayers, undeserved criticism, and even senseless tragedies, and that a very important test is how we act when we cant feel God's presence in our lives. Sometimes God intentionally draws back, and we don't sense his closeness. He went on to talk about a king named Hezekiah who experienced this test, and he had a close fellowship with God, but he went through this to test his character to reveal a weakness and to prepare him for more responsibility.
You may have heard the verse, James 1:12 "Blessed are those who endure when they are tested. When they pass the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." I know that there have been times in my life where I have felt Him pull back to allow me to go through things that would, in the end, bring me and possibly others, closer to Him. At those times, I also realize just how much I need Him daily, and want Him close to me. I told a friend recently that many times we feel that we shouldnt "deserve" one more test, one more trial, but at times when we have a moment between tests, we should prepare for the next, because there will come another. God uses them to refine, purify, mold, shape, bend, stretch, and create a more Christ-like person. Of course, holiness will ultimately be achieved only when we see our Savior face to face, but our purpose here should involve in us becoming more like Jesus, a light to a dark, dark world. I pray my light will always shine for Him.

Luke had to go to the doctor Monday, the 18th, and the Monday before. He had started coughing and was really congested. Dr. Hodges said he had bronchitis. He started Bright Horizons (the BCBSAL employee's daycare) on January 4th, so he either caught it there, or Tobi brought something home. Even though he sounded crappy, he was his happy, jovial self! (The picture above was from the 11th, and I thought, "Ive heard of having a twin, but a glowworm?!LOL") I am just so in awe at the disposition Luke has. He is always so happy. He wakes up happy, and goes to sleep happy. It seems the only time that he has really gotten upset in the past couple of weeks, has been after I've given him a bath-with the space heater going, and gotten him out to dry him off. He was fine and then just started screaming. Over several nights of this, I finally figured out that his little head was cold! As long as I dried his head off really good, and put a hat on him, he was fine! Who would have thought?! Other than that, he is just always laid back. He is over 17 lbs now and will be 4 months old on the 28th. I cant believe he's already almost 4 months old. Time truly does speed up when you get older.

My dear friend Johanna and I met for lunch a few weeks ago. We have a very special bond, the loss of our children. She's still very angry, disappointed, hopeless, depressed...I just had to tell her that I believe God's plan is better than mine, and I have to trust Him no matter what, which is easier said than done. She had surgery today to unblock one tube and the other appears to be clear, so we are praying that God will bless her womb as he did Hannah, Samuel's mother, as she prayed and prayed for a child, and the Lord answered.

Lord, your Word says that you give us the 'desires of our heart' and I believe Johanna's deepest desire to have a child is from You. Please prepare her womb for life. Open up her tubes, clear away any blockage. Make her womb ripe to bring life. Please bless her with a child this year, in hopes that she would testify, as I do daily, of your faithfulness.

Faithfully His,

Mika